Author: Natasha

Advice to Grads: What I Wish I Knew Then

Posted on by Natasha

ADVICE TO GRADS:
What I Wish I Knew Then

In June I often walk past crowds of grads milling outside the theatre in my neigborhood as they head into their graduation ceremony. It had me thinking of what I wished I knew back then…

And then I met a teacher who shared with me that he had this fantasy about slipping his class a “cheat sheet” about life (like, “this is what you really need to know”). How many of us feel like this, but never share it?

So here’s my list, if you have a grad in your life share this list with them, or better yet, one of your own.

I love re-visiting these ideas from time to time.

1. The only thing you have is the deep uniqueness of who you are. So do you.

2. Seek out mentors. People who are ahead of you on the path can see your blindspots and cut your learning curve in half (at least). Success leaves clues.

3. If you want to be a pro, work for professionals for a time to see how it’s done.

4. You are coming out of a system that was designed to produce factory workers. If you aspire for more time and money freedom, seek out those who have it and learn from them.

5. Your network = your net worth. “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

6. Don’t seek advice or approval from those who don’t have what you want. Health, relationships, business, money. (i.e. stop asking for directions from people who have never been where you’re going).

7. Your family wants what’s best for you – their advice is coming from their own history, experience and sense of self worth. Your future can be different.

8. Your growth is your responsibility.

9. When you go for a job interview remember: you’re interviewing them as much as they’re interviewing you – ask smart questions and feel out the vibe of the place. Also realize: filling the role is another task on their list of to-do’s. They want you to be great, so relax.

10. Don’t compare yourself to others. Just try to be superior to your former self.

11. “Follow your bliss” means pay attention to the stuff that makes time fly – this is where your genius is, in the flow. And if you can’t figure out your passion, look at what you’re curious about.

12. Be aware of your input as well as your output: consider what you watch, listen to, read, the people you hang around, how you spend your time. This all effects your energy, your mindset, your emotions, your spirit and your physical health.

13. “When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.” – Alexander Den Heijer

14. If you don’t know what you’re here to do, then just do some good.” – Maya Angelou “You don’t have to move mountains. Simply fall in love with life. Be a tornado of happiness, gratitude and acceptance. You will change the world just by being a warm, kind hearted human being.” – Anita Krizzan

15. “Your profession is not what brings home your weekly paycheck, your profession is what you’re put here on earth to do, with such passion and such intensity that it becomes spiritual in calling.” – Vincent Van Gogh

16. Don’t be a perfectionist. Perfectionism is just fear disguised as you having high standards.

17. Enjoy the journey, it is the destination (all we have is NOW). “You are constantly rewriting your future based on how you spend your time now. The present moment is your portal to the future.” – Kylie Francis

18. Your mindset = your life. The biggest design project you will ever work on is your life. You are a creator. You create your life with your thoughts, your energy and your effort.

19. If you can imagine it, it’s because on some level it’s meant for you (not everyone imagines the same future).

20. “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” Einstein said this and he was asking us to examine our core positioning, our beginning point. From which everything else grows.

21. “We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.” – Anais Nin
Question where your beliefs came from.

22. It’s ok to build a life that doesn’t look like anyone else’s. “Had I not created my whole world, I would certainly have died in other people’s.” – Anais Nin

23. Don’t let your successes get to your head. Don’t let your failures get to your heart.

24. Travel as much as you want. It’s not indulgent. It’s educational.

25. Give back and carve out time for priorities that aren’t work: family, friends, your health.

(From the newsletter Summer ’19)

Dressing for a Fluctuating Body

Posted on by Natasha

(This blog post was co-written with my good friend, and very talented stylist Scarlet Chamberlin. Scroll to the bottom for details on where you can find her!)

beautiful_woman_style_brand_fluctuating_weight_body

Scarlet and I were discussing something over text recently when I remarked: “I am the poster child for having a wardrobe that works at different sizes.”

My weight has fluctuated since my early 20s, and recently the most dramatically when I gained 25 pounds and then lost 35 over the course of almost two years living in the States.

Scarlet tells me that one thing most of us ladies have in common is weight fluctuation – usually 5 to 8 pounds throughout the year.

When I’ve been smaller I’ve gotten rid of larger clothes, when I’ve been larger, I’ve gotten rid of smaller clothes, on the advice that keeping either isn’t serving me. I’m not sure I agree with that advice anymore, having lived with the regret of missing certain classic pieces, when my weight has fluctuated on either end (RIP perfect high waisted black denim pencil skirt). You may think you’ll never get back into that pair of skinny jeans. And you may think you’ll never need those larger sizes again. But life happens and maybe keeping a range of high-quality classics around is in our best interest.

I’m a designer (with three planets in Virgo). This means I have a lust for minimalism, clarity and order. I love a good cull, an edit, a purge. I love to de-clutter, whether it’s a website, a bookcase, or a wardrobe. Streamlining is sexy! Scarlet agrees with me – “clutter is the enemy”. It keeps us from being focused, from finding peace in our day-to-day.

I enjoy a curated wardrobe that’s composed with intention, and includes nothing I don’t love, don’t wear, or doesn’t fit. But I’m softening on this. During my first Closet Overhaul, Scarlet helped me select classic-to-me pieces that can be styled to work as my weight fluctuates. More than ever I know that choosing classic pieces in forgiving fabrics that give/stretch is the way to go (like my favorite pencil skirt that has served me well through a few sizes).

With that in mind, here are 5 industry secrets from Scarlet on how we can: purge with intention, dress to impress (ourselves), embrace our curves, and feel and look hot at any size!

  1. Contouring vs Clinging Fabrics 

    Pieces made of high-quality fabrics that contour your figure will be timeless core staples in your wardrobe. Invest in the clothing category that is hardest to find for you. For me, that category is pants. I pay more for pants made with sturdy fabrics that drape – like wool, silk crepe, heavy linen and sustainably sourced cotton – because I know I’ll get good wear out of them whether I’m up or down the 8lbs. For other people, that category is tops. If this is you, consider investing in forgiving fabrics like 4-way stretch silk, high-density cashmere, great tailoring, colors that light you up, and washable wovens that contour your figure instead of clinging on “sausage tight”. You’ll feel so great in these pieces and the cost per wear will ease a budget-conscious mind.

  2. Avoid Straight Lines Across “problem areas” 

    Notches, slits, asymmetry, scalloping… these are things to look for in hems that hit on or near your widest part. Interrupting a straight line there will make that area appear slimmer. This is why the “French tuck” a.k.a. “quarter tuck” has caught on so strong. Straight lines call attention, so use them strategically.

  3. Alterations Budget 

    Clever alterations can make an outdated item current again. Alterations also come in handy if you shop second hand, like me. Know your landmarks and develop an eye for what’s possible when you find a great deal or when you’re shopping your own closet. Avoid regrets by altering for your average size.

  4. Balance 

    A common misconception is that we should highlight our “skinniest part” by wearing super fitted clothing. For instance, a client with a large bust + belly and very slender legs + hips was wearing flowy tunics in light colors + black leggings. To my eye, this combination is out of balance and makes her look top-heavy. I helped her create the look of a balanced figure by choosing silhouettes, textures, and patterns strategically creating an overall effect that focused the eye up towards her face. It’s composition. Think of your body as a canvas, clothing and accessories as your paint.

  5. Frame Your Figure

    Relaxed or tailored blazers are our friends. A cool cardigan can go a long way, they’re just hard to find. Kimonos are popular right now. Leather and bomber jackets, as well as trenches, can be timeless go-tos. All of these pieces frame your figure. When selecting framing layers, choose hemlines that end just above or below the widest part of your hip or go for a duster that lands above or below the most muscular part of your calf. There are so many possibilities with these key pieces so definitely have at least a few in your closet to play with.

Most of us have some hangups with our bodies, whether its bumps and lumps, edges or angles, hair loss or too much hair, scars or wrinkles, etc. By nature, humans are self-conscious. We admire stand-out features in others, but when it comes to our own self-talk, we can be brutal! I am all about embracing the body you’re born with and taking good care of it. Treat her like a temple and let your look shine your light. No matter what shape or size, we can feel and look hot. A fabulous outfit, a killer workout, a balanced meal, a beautiful image can help, but it’s inner strength and a loving attitude that uplifts ourselves and, in turn, others.

These are guidelines above, meant to be taken with a grain of salt knowing that the key to unlocking signature style means learning the rules, feeling success, and being adventurous! Nudging yourself in this way will help you put your best foot forward (and hands and heart and whole gorgeous self!).

~ Scarlet & Natasha

 

Scarlet Chamberlin is an award-winning stylist and jewelry designer based in Portland, Oregon. You’ve seen her clients walking on red carpets and stepping on stages at TED conferences. She has dressed bestselling authors like Cheryl Strayed, writers such as Kelly Sue Deconnick, and entrepreneurs like Sadie Lincoln. Her styling work has also been featured in Vanity Fair, Fast Company, People, and Portland Monthly. Hire her for a Closet Overhaul or Sort, Shop & Style at scarletchamberlin.com to maximize your existing wardrobe thoughtfully with confidence!

Natasha Lakos has been called “the go-to creative” for the next generation of thought leaders. She’s upleveled brands for a few of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100s, and a long list of big-hearted entrepreneurs. Through her 1:1 practice as a Creative Director and Graphic Designer, she’s learned that when your personal brand reflects your true identity, the world re-arranges itself to gather at your feet. Hire her for a consultation or website design at natashalakos.com, or find her @NatashaLakos on social.

Image sourced from Pinterest. Polaroid by Christa Meola. 

Everything begins with a name.

Posted on by Natasha

But what do I call it?

This is a question I get a lot. Usually someone has started a business and given it a name, and is questioning whether they should re-brand to use their own name (or vice versa). Considering you have about 10 seconds to convince potential clients you’re “The One” (or stick around long enough to decide) I dug up some valuable insights from a couple of pros who can shed some light on this subject from a wider perspective…

“The name you choose for your business is not just an asset you will own forever, it is one of the most important elements of your brand strategy.”
–Bernadette Jiwa, specialist in brand naming

Consider that your business name is really where your story starts, it’s where you start the conversation. It’s an opportunity to establish an emotional connection.

As Jiwa describes, “A great brand name doesn’t just describe your business, it sets the stage, articulates your position, and conveys the unique personality of your brand.”

Here are some prompts to help you solve this riddle, borrowed from David Airey’s book Work For Money, Design For Love:

• What’s your mission?
What difference do you want to make?

• What’s your vision?
What are the results of your work and what does your business do in the future?

• What are your core values?
What attitudes and beliefs shape your business culture and what you stand for?

• What’s your unique value proposition?
Why do you do what you do? Why will people want to do business with you?

• Do you have an emotional selling point?
What’s the intangible thing you’re selling? Think about feelings vs. facts. Is it a sense of freedom? Connection? Belonging? What appeals to your customers?

• What is the essence of your brand?
What’s at the core of what you do? What image does it portray?

• Describe what you do and why you do it.
Can you condense this into one line that communicates everything?

• Who is your target audience?
I’m sure you’ve done the exercise of painting the picture of your ideal client. Once you understand them: their goals, aspirations, personal and business priorities, you’ll have a clearer idea of what would be attractive to them.

• What’s your brand identity?
How do people perceive your brand? What words would they use to describe it? What words do you want them to use?

• What type of name do I want to consider?
Is this for a personal brand? Do you want it to be evocative, descriptive, invented, or something else?

The practicalities to consider:
• domain availability
• username availability across social media channels
• legalities re: registered trademarks (if you aren’t using your own name)
• how it sounds, is it easy to pronounce, read?
• spelling, is it easily searchable?
• memorability, does it stand out?
• meaning, does it have one with your audience?
• feeling, how does it make you feel?
• positioning, are you potentially pigeonholing yourself if you change services or products down the line?

Final words from Jiwa:

“A great name can take you places a good name can’t. A truly great brand name makes room for a new story in people’s hearts and minds and can position a good product beyond its utility.

So don’t just set out to name your company, set out to name the vision of what you want to see in the world.”

VITA Magazine Article: Personal Styling for Your Brand

Posted on by Natasha

As published online in VITA Magazine (link).

Personal Styling for Your Brand

Your wardrobe’s already speaking for you —
get it to tell a great story

Experts tell us we have seven seconds to make a first impression. Unfortunately, our personality isn’t the first thing people see. Intimidating? How about empowering! Your brand is based on the story or your life and career and, as fashion designer Miuccia Prada says, “Fashion is language.” So, if thinking about your “look” is anxiety-producing, use this as an opportunity to get curious. Ask, what does my style say about me? What do I want it to say? Where am I in life? Do I feel worthy of an amazing wardrobe? How do I look to other people (and why do I care)? To help, here are six tips to help you sort out your unique, brand-aligning and winning style!

natasha lakos

style tip 1. 

To be clear, we’re talking about style, not fashion. Fashion is an industry, we buy it. Style is personal, it’s something we possess. Your truth is magnetic! The world worships an original and it’s never been a better time to be yourself.

style tip 2. 

Invest in the highest quality that you can afford. Decide what the most strategic investments are. What are the pieces that will up-level any outfit? What statement accessories will take basic wardrobe staples to the next level?

style tip 3. Expressing your personal style creates authentic connections and new opportunities—and moves us in the directions of our dreams. Edith Head knew it when she said, “You can have anything you want if you dress for it.”

style tip 4. Remember that good design—whether it comes to a home, a website or a wardrobe—isn’t just about adding things, it’s also about letting things go. Oh, the power of the edit! Stand guard at the gate and be picky about what you let in.

style tip 5. It’s OK to invest in clothing that helps you feel like, and express, your true self. It’s OK to keep only the pieces that fit and flatter—without blaming your body or feeling guilt over what you’ve spent. It’s OK to be the best-dressed person in the room.

style tip 6. Liberate yourself from the media’s image of women and tell your own story. Think of your wardrobe as another tool at your disposal. As American fashion designer Anne Klein said, “Clothes aren’t going to change the world, the women who wear them will.”

—Natasha Lakos

natasha lakos

Natasha Lakos has been called “the go-to creative” for the next generation of thought leaders. She’s worked with a handful of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100s and a long list of big-hearted entrepreneurs. Natasha’s work draws from her experience in visual communications, decor, publishing and online marketing. Her work is inspired by the intersection of art, fashion, health, and personal transformation. Through her practice as a creative director, she’s learned that when your personal brand reflects your true identity, the world re-arranges itself to gather at your feet. Learn more at natashalakos.com.

© Copyright 2018

 

IDENTITY MATTERS

Posted on by Natasha

IDENTITY MATTERS

A CASE FOR IMPECCABLE DESIGN

We are visually sophisticated creatures. And whether we’re professional designers, bankers, or baristas, we know good design when we see it.

Even so, we sometimes neglect our own visual identities. To the detriment of our businesses. Our creativity. And our confidence.

I’d like to make a case for impeccable design—and take you on a quick trip to Paris. (Hope you brought your passport.)

You’ve been invited to the gala event of the season. A night at The Louvre. Lights. Camera. Action. Everyone—and I mean everyone—is going to be there. Journalists. Fans. Potential clients, galore. The crème de la crème of your visionary tribe.

You’ve got one moment—one opportunity—to make an unforgettable impression.

Are you going to wear your comfy old t-shirt, straight from the gym?
A designer skirt—with a mismatched top + scuffed-up heels?
That formal suit that doesn’t quite fit anymore, and makes it hard to breathe?

Or…a thoughtfully-tailored ensemble, designed to your impeccable standards?
An outfit that makes you stand up a bit straighter, flash your eyes, and command attention?
One that highlights your most powerful qualities, and elevates the experience of basking in your presence?

As an entrepreneur, your visual identity—your website, social media pages, business cards + promotional collateral—serves precisely the same purpose as that haute couture attire. And when you’re building an online presence, every day is a gala event.

As your Creative Director + Identity Designer, my role is to translate your spirit onto the screen, with impeccable visuals that showcase your talents — and illuminate your potential.

Design is a powerful tool.
It can transform how you’re perceived.
It can bring confidence, conviction + clarity of spirit.
It can attract opportunities, access + critical acclaim.
It can carry you precisely where you want to go — whether your destination is a chic Parisian gala, the NY Times bestseller list, an international speaking tour, or the helm of a thriving business.

So … where do YOU want to go?

Check out ways we can work together here, then tell me everything and away we go :)

The Power of Your Images

Posted on by Natasha

Images of war. Illustrations of peace. Photos of terror. Portraits of beauty.

I’m obsessed with images and their power over us.

I saw a hypnotherapist once who told me that our subconscious learns things from images much more effectively than it does from language and words. The subconscious mind (about 90%) is responsible for making most of our decisions. And it THINKS IN PICTURES.

Research shows that we’re reading less online, scanning more, and video is projected to be 80% of internet traffic – so there is no denying the power of imagery online. And we’ve all heard the saying “a picture says 1000 words.”

Our business is our art. And activist Cesar Cruz said it:

“Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.”

Think of the graphics and the photography you currently use – on your website, your social media, your printed materials – and ask yourself:

• Am I using visuals to their most powerful effect (especially on the most viewed pages of my website, Home and About?)
• Do my images speak to my viewer by inspiring, enlightening, educating? Or are they merely filling space? Are they there at all or am I missing an opportunity to tell a better story?

• Am I regurgitating images that I see elsewhere? Am I using images that seem safe or expected with the subject matter?

• If a goal of yours is to shake up your industry or your audience, are you using images to help you do that?

• If you’re trying to help your audience, are you using images that illustrate the result they’re looking to achieve?

Georgia O’Keefe said “I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way – things I had no words for.”

The images you use are speaking for you – what are they saying?

Prompts to pull you out of the comparison bubble.

Posted on by Natasha

Hello!

Wherever this finds you, I hope it finds you doing well. I’ve been hanging on to the last moments of summer here in NYC, and now enjoying the first days of Fall.

I had an incredible end to summer. Spending time with family on the coast of Croatia, eating too much pizza, bathing in the light of white stone cities like Dubrovnik and Trogir, soaking in the salty Adriatic sea, returning to a very special island off the coast where we swam in secret coves with no tourists and wide open vistas. Hopping over to Florence and being reminded that true artisans and craftspeople still exist. Walking through orchards in Tuscany. Speeding down to Rome to discover what spaghetti con vongole really tastes like, and walking amidst the history of the Roman empire.

As much as I have an itinerary and ‘must do’ lists on these trips, part of the value of travelling to Europe for me is always being reminded to slow down. I’m also reminded of the value of beauty – of dressing well, living well, eating well, and with nature. Of taking the time and effort to make the simplest things gorgeous. How did we lose this in North America? I’m committed to bringing it back.

A day after my European trip came to a close, I was on a plane headed to New York City. I’m here for 3 months, writing to you from my apartment in Nolita. If you don’t know it, it’s a small, vibrant and charming neighborhood snuggled up between Soho, Little Italy, Noho, Bowery and the Lower East Side. New York is one of my favorite places in the world. A city with a thousand personalities and what feels like unlimited potential, the very best of the American ethos.

I was saying to a friend that I find it ironic that I’ve come to such a fast-paced city at a time when I feel like I’ve finally got a hold on the pace of my business and work. This city can, at the same time, foster the illusion of competition, and remind you that everyone is an individual, and there’s space for us all.

I was talking to a client the other day about competition, about being leaders in a category. And it reminded me of something else I value about travel. New perspective. Pulling yourself out of the bubble. It is so easy to become myopic about our business, our industry, our city, culture, country. And these views are reflected in our brand. But the brands that we most admire are leaders that broke new ground (think Apple, Virgin, etc.). And I think to a certain degree you need to be able to gain an outside perspective in order to do this.

So I want to give you some prompts that might help you define or express yourself, or your brand, in a new and magnetic way.

Here they are:

• What is the ROLE that you play? Beyond your professional title…are you a storyteller, a provocateur, an artist, a teacher, a (fill in the blank)? Whatever it is – if you communicate from this place, it will feel good and it will draw out an emotional connection between you and your clients, and go beyond the “features and benefits” of your product or service.

• Your brand exists in other people’s MINDS. Think about a company like Tiffany’s. There are factual things about it (like it comes in a blue box), and emotional things about it (it’s romantic). What are those things for your brand?

• What’s something on your website that you’ve borrowed from someone else? Maybe it’s a strategy on your pop up, or languaging on your “About” blurb, or a tagline, or certain graphic elements…could you adjust those things to be in more alignment with who you are today and what you want to attract?

The filter to use when answering all these questions is:

– is this in integrity?
– is it authentic?
– can I be clear and consistent with this messaging?

– does it feel true to me?

These prompts came from a project that I’m inspired to dig back into this fall. It’s all about how you can identify what makes you unique and then how you can express that online. I’ll keep you posted!

Sending you love and autumn light from NYC,

Feeling stuck? Here’s the antidote.

Posted on by Natasha

“Design is an opportunity to continue telling the story, not just to sum everything up”.
– Tate Linden

I’m re-designing my website right now. It’s an interesting experience. I joke that I’m a shitty client. I push out deadlines. I can’t make decisions. It’s humbling to be on the other side of the table.

Normally I’m a quick decision-maker. I benefit from the pressure of the last minute, and I thrive with unlimited creative boundaries.

And yet – I find myself doing anything but working on my website these days. My apartment is now spotless, my social calendar is humming, and my shredder’s been working overtime (because I just had to go through that dusty old set of file folders).

My advice to clients and friends experiencing this stuck-ness has always been “we’re not carving things in stone here”. I know the flexibility of WordPress, and I’m my own designer-on-demand should I want to change anything in the future. I have no visions of a fanfare launch, or even a deadline for that matter (my programmer might disagree).

I’m a recovering perfectionist. And I see my own projects as ‘experiments’ – where there is the freedom to do and try things that I wouldn’t for clients. Sometimes the wrongest solution is the rightest. Sometimes mistakes and “ugly” things can be very appealing. I’ve always loved unfinished works of art more than finished ones. So part of me loves being in the space where things are “in process”.

And there are gems in stuck-ness and gifts in procrastination. When we’re stuck, there is a conscious part of us that’s digging down and asking:
• where can I lift the anchors out?
• what has provided security and stability and uniformity, and what / how can I evolve these things?
• how can I bring more consciousness or light into the work I do, into my connection with people?

I recognize the hesitation and the fear we have to “get everything right’. There is a substantial investment involved for most people, and we want to make the most of it. There are examples of pixel perfect websites that we admire (sidenote: I can tell you from behind-the-scenes that some of the most-admired website have owners who have fallen out of love with them, or who also feel stuck). So I get it. As a designer, as a client, as a creative business owner.

Next time you’re feeling stuck, or nervous, or less-than-stellar about where you’re at in regards to your online presence, your design, your website…remember:

• We can’t possibly sum up something that’s constantly in motion, in growth. We wouldn’t want to!

• The opportunity design provides is to reference your past, to take a fresh look at your present and propel yourself into your future.

• Remember you are expressing your story, because that is truly the thing that will separate you from the crowd. Even stellar design falls flat after a while, when your story is the same as everyone else’s.

Here’s to getting un-stuck and moving forward, to telling your story as it’s happening…

x

I get so emotional (or, Where To Start.)

Posted on by Natasha

When it comes to designing (or re-designing) a website, a personal brand, many people have asked me: where do I start?

Here’s how I approach the thing.

I like to think of my life as a work of art. Like the definition says, art is “an application of our creative skill and imagination.” We’re consciously (or unconsciously) creating our lives, right? And our businesses are an expression of us.

So if we think of our business as a work of art, what would it look like, feel like, sound like? What emotions would it evoke in the viewer?

I went to see a Cezanne exhibit recently. Paul said:

“A work of art which did not begin in emotion is not art”.


Good business, like great art, both speaks about the person who created it, and touches its audience. Your business and the way you express it must tell the world about who you are, and evoke an emotional response in people.

 If you’re struggling to create a new online presence, redesign your website, share your work on social media or separate yourself from the crowd, here are some prompts to help you think differently, and hopefully get you unstuck:

What are the emotions you want people to feel when they come across you for the very first time?

And what have they been feeling up until that point?

What got YOU so emotional / passionate about helping people solve their problem?

What brought you to do the work you’re doing?

What’s a new approach to expressing and defining yourself online?

What colors, styles of composition, photography, design elements, copy would express this?

Is there a congruency between what you’re saying is important to you and the way your website, your online presence, looks and feels?

As always, the key to moving forward in alignment is to quit looking around, and look within.

No one else has your story, and no one else can tell it (or show it) like you can.

Art is about personal expression, and you can’t do it wrong. If it’s coming from an authentic place, it’s right. What’s more, it’s coming from a place bigger than you. You are the conduit for a truth that needs to be heard. This is your art.

This reminds me of one of my all time favourite quotes from Andy Warhol:

“Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art.”


Yes!

The best art changes the world. It affects people in a positive way. It breaks convention.

Think of your work as a work of art and don’t be afraid to express it in a way that only you can.

Live as art.

x

Behind The Scenes Q&A: Work Hard & Be Nice To People

Posted on by Natasha

Have you seen this poster?

01.jpg

It may seem trite but it’s the answer that always pops to mind when people ask me the following questions:

How did you get the clients you have?
How can I grow / build my business?
How do you attract new clients?
What do you do to ensure a consistent flow of clients?
How to get to the level you are at online and in your work?
How do I promote myself?

Or another way of putting it…

Don’t worry about knowing the right people. Just make yourself worth knowing.

I always think back to the beginning. Before I even had a business, I was passionate about doing great work. I was passionate about design, and working with people who were doing interesting things, who were up to great work in the world. I noticed when these people crossed my path and I reached out to them. I offered to work for free, for money, to get involved with what they were doing, and kept in touch even (and maybe especially) when they didn’t have work for me. I made this effort for years, and those relationships returned so much to me in time – in the way of new opportunities and connections that blossomed into networks and projects and a bigger opportunity to create a business and life I love – work, travel, friendships and more.

When I look back, it’s a reminder that:
1 // success doesn’t happen overnight.
2 // being nice and doing good work pays off.
3 // if you stick to it longer (and put in more effort) than most people would you’ll reap the rewards.

I hear all the time how (especially in the online world) it’s hard to find people who are dependable and who do great work. These seem like simple things to me, but I think in order to do both of them consistently you need to be passionate about what you do and who you’re doing it for. Are you?

If you’ve had any of the above questions recently…

Are you passionate about your work? Do you love to see it, hear about it, play with it, be a part of it, create it – does it inspire you? Seem like second nature to you? Is it obvious to you? Do you see how it changes the world? Can you keep it fresh? Does it interest you?

Find what you can be passionate about – so that working hard feels like play.

Are you passionate about who you work with? Notice I said with and not for. Do you feel you’re part of a movement, a cause, something greater than yourself? Do you feel like you’re working for an income, chasing money – or that you’re working with comrades, and that the money is a byproduct of what you’re creating, together?

Someone said you shouldn’t work with anyone you wouldn’t have dinner with – that’s a great litmus test for me.

Be nice to people – which is easy when you’re working with and for people you admire, genuinely like and want to succeed.

It’s my experience that if we’re aligned with these points, the opportunities follow.

A simple answer to questions that can seem difficult at times. Simple but significant.

What the acupuncturist reminded me about MASTERY…

Posted on by Natasha

Acupuncture-is-an-ancient-Chinese-methodology

So I’m laying on a bed with acupuncture needles in me this morning, thinking about you. I’m thinking about us, all of us who are service providers, how we handle our clients, and how we’re handled as a client when we’re out in the world.

I’m at Dr. Tony’s office, by recommendation of a friend. That’s all I need to get me somewhere, really. I’m at tea with a friend, I mention something, they say “you have to go see so-and-so” and I’m there. Because I believe we’re divinely guided, and because my friends are that good. No Google searches, I don’t shop around, I don’t check out the guy’s website. I call the number she texts me and next thing I’m on a bed with needles in me.

I get there and among the certificates and doctor-y stuff are (live) plants and big pieces of artwork. DaVinci’s Vitruvian man. Piles of thank you cards. These are all good signs. But the office is a humble one, nothing fancy.

It seems like the kind of business I’ve always admired: a quiet master doing their thing. Nothing showy, no advertising, found by word of mouth.

The doctor doesn’t ask my name, he doesn’t explain acupuncture or even ask why I’m there. While one hand reads my palm, the other jots down notes in Chinese. He asks some questions which are straight to the point. I have a soft spot for straight shooters, and accents, so this guy is already golden. I have some cheeky but honest answers, I see a twinkle in his eye and next thing I’m in a comfy room with needles in me. I have no idea how long it will take, but after a while, the doc comes back, takes out the needles, says “cya!” and disappears.

I’m aware this type of bedside manner might turn some people off, but I LOVE it.

I love efficiency and it’s relationship to mastery.

Beyond being capable and competent, effectual and proficient, skillful and talented, even beyond being an expert, there is a level of mastery that is deft, that is full of finesse and prowess. It’s performance. It’s potent and powerful. It’s on the level of a virtuoso, a genius, and (as thesaurus(dot)com suggests)…wizardry. (Love that).

This level of mastery doesn’t need ornamentation. It doesn’t need padding. The proof is in the pudding and the people who are in search of it will resonate with it no matter what the packaging looks like.

Everyone wants a beautiful online presence, one that inspires confidence and trust. You already have the formula to deliver that, it’s in what you do, not in what fonts you use or what color scheme you employ.

Ask yourself today, if you had your ideal client in front of you, and all you had was a blank piece of paper and a pen, what questions would you be asking them? What would you want to know before they had a chance to ask you anything? What skill do you have that you would employ in that moment? Is this reflected on your site? Is it immediately identifiable on your Home page? Is it in the way you talk about your work? Yourself?

I’m guessing whatever your answers are, it’s part of who you are, and therefore it should be part of your brand. This is your gift and your genius. Don’t let it get buried, or even hidden, by beautiful wrapping.

You have the goods. They don’t need to be perfectly gift wrapped, they just need to be delivered. I see too many people get stuck on packaging, for too long. And I see many of us lusting after beautiful visual identities that speak to people because they are supporting something deeper: a skill and talent so unique and clear that it can’t help but shine through (or inspire) the way it’s delivered.

Your mastery is there too. Let it come out.

Q&A with Lainie Love Dalby // Authentic Soul Expression

Posted on by Natasha

When I first met Lainie, we were at a live event in NYC and I could tell from across the room that she was a woman who was full of art, passion and self expression. Lainie is known as “the Lady Gaga of consciousness” and I think one of her quotes sums up her work perfectly: “You are the artist in charge of the greatest masterpiece on earth: YOUR LIFE!”.

N: You use a great term in your work: “authentic soul expression”. Can you define this for us?

L :: I believe we are each unique imprints of the Divine. There will never be another one of us. Therefore we all matter deeply. Regardless if we’re a woman, queer, black, Hawaiian, Jamaican, Arab, wealthy, destitute, etc. We each have a unique medicine, a set of deep gifts that only we can bring to the world – that’s based on our experiences, personal stories, strengths, abilities, values and more – making this formula entirely our own. This is our authentic soul expression that comes deep from within the core of our being. It is our individual essence & light, teeming with gorgeousness from the inside out.

Unleashing this expression into the world allows us to feel purposeful, more alive, and have a greater sense of well-being overall. It also increases our capacity to love, for as we become more authentic we can love ourselves and others more. The overall health of our mind, body and soul also depends on our level of freedom to express our full selves. It isn’t about self-help. It’s about stepping into the fullness of who we really are, standing in our truth, and claiming our worth for the good of all those in our global village.

Our world is so deeply in need at this time. That’s why there’s an underlying humanitarian effort with all of my work, encouraging sacred activism. It’s igniting our core creativity and bringing forth our divine nature so that we can sparkle shamelessly & be fully of service in our world. It’s a spiritual, creative and activist approach to living fully, deeply engaged –  and the overall goal is to ignite a soul-led revolution.

 

N :: And I want to know…How did you come to know your authentic self?

L :: I came to know my authentic self along a journey of getting deeply lost in surface glitter and glam, living out the shattered aspects of my ego in the world through a series of different identity players: the Dominatrix, the Avant-garde fashion maven, the Celebrity stylist, and more. This led me on a self-destructive path to a place of total emotional, financial and spiritual bankruptcy that ended in a near suicide attempt. It was only then that I began a lifesaving spiritual journey that helped me to return home to my true self and remember who I was and why I was here.

It was really a process of self-actualization with a lot of depth psychology work and learning about myself, especially the shadow aspects of self I’d never wanted to confront before. I do the work I do now in the hopes that I can help others circumvent the hardship of such a treacherous journey by helping them to go on the inner pilgrimage as a choice, instead of out of desperation. True transformation begins within us & it’s the only way to get to our authentic core. That’s why the deep dive within is so important.

 

N :: And how did you become comfortable with expressing it?

L :: The top three tools that I use to become more comfortable with expressing my authentic self still to this day are daily practice, boatloads of courage and sacred support systems & sisterhoods to uphold me along the often difficult journey. For it is a journey, and we are always blossoming into the fullness of our true selves more and more. This work is never done, but we get to choose when to start. The joy is found on the path.

 

N :: Next I want to talk about “divine legacy”. Tell us what this means :)

L :: Our Divine Legacy is essentially our life purpose and why we are all here at this time on planet Earth. It is living into our peak potential and stepping up into a position of leadership with our deep gifts to serve the world’s deep needs. Our lives are the true masterpiece, a distinct form of sacred art, a Divine creative challenge. How can we tend to this masterpiece with the appropriate reverence? I believe the answer is to become highly developed, fully actualized people in pursuit of selfless service. There will never be another me, or you. And we must remember that someone out there needs us. We must live our lives in service to the greater good so they can find us. We must discover our Divine Legacy.

We have a responsibility to our brothers and sisters, to uphold the web of oneness of which we are all a part and to uplift one another. We’re all connected. It’s our duty to help out those in need – we are a reflection of one another and we need each other more than ever. That’s why we’re seeing the sharing & connection economy blossoming and old institutions that don’t serve the greater whole crumbling.

 

N :: How important is sisterhood in our evolution, and when it comes to expressing our gifts?

L :: Though I don’t solely work with women, it’s what I am being called to at this time with the Mystic Sister Circle to create a mutually healing, inspiring and nurturing container for growth and transformation. Sisterhood, to me, is gathering souls together in intimate space to create an incubator-womb space in which to tap more fully into our true source of Feminine power within, fulfill our soul’s deep longing & have help to step more fully into our leadership. These are sacred circles of sisters acting as catalysts, witnesses and midwives for each others’ growth on the path of individuation & living our purpose. We share our stories, knowledge, growth and expertise to collectively up-level the quality of our lives for the benefit of all. Together we create a kind of portal of divine feminine wisdom and power in the Universe that increases our collective power to manifest, to love and to help co-create and transform our world. And overall, Sisterhood becomes a Divine container to birth our greatness. As Rev. Lorenza Andrade Smith said “Sacred is the meeting place, that holy ground of grace and power that brings forth the well-being of all people.”

This is crucial to our evolution since the Divine Masculine and Feminine are in an imbalance in our world today, and we need to help restore them to balance. Darwinian studies actually suggest that the solidarity of women is the only thing that truly neutralizes male aggression. It is when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable with other women that we connect on a deep level and go beyond jealousy and comparison into a space of deep belonging, support and encouragement that I believe truly can help towards transforming our world now.

 

N :: There are so many questions I could ask of a fellow business owner and creative. But more and more these days I just want to talk about love, and art. So, what do you have to say about love? You even put the word in your name! Tell us about that.

L :: ‘Love’ bodily inserted itself into my name during my Interfaith Ordination in a Redemptorist Chapel in Upstate New York in 2011. My parents never gave me a middle name since they wanted me to be able to choose one when the time was right. Turns out it was the Divine that chose it for me. The message came loud and clear after I spoke my vows and I knew that it was my spiritual renaming to embody this new identity in the world, beyond just the use of the title Reverend.

For me, Love is showing up fully, bringing our full light, and giving our best. It means coming from the heart center in all we do and tapping into the ‘we’ instead of just ‘me.’ It is remembering the gift of our oneness and letting that lead all of our actions. Love is our true nature, even though we occasionally deviate from it, and compassion and empathy are love’s bedfellows – qualities our world needs more of now than ever. I also believe love is a kind of currency. I’ve almost finished a whole book about that, in fact!

I believe it’s time for us to make love the new bottom line in our world.  But more importantly I believe the most fiercely loving action we can do for ourselves and for our world is self-realization: to become who we were meant to be in this lifetime, unleashing our full soul expression and living our Divine Legacy out in the world. As I said before, we’ve been put here on earth at the most powerful time in history. We must ask why.

N :: What role does art play in your day to day life? How does this influence your business?

L :: For me Life is a work of art and Art is the work of life. God or Spirit is often defined as Source and Creator, just as we are all powerful creators. I believe we must tap into that potential that is ours by birthright. Art and creating will forever be my lifeblood. The Artist is one of my main archetypes and largely how I approach the world, with a multimedia perspective. Everything becomes a medium for creation: words, pictures, thoughts, spiritual practices, and more. And this applies whether I’m designing a container of transformation, writing a book, mentoring a client, building a wearable sculpture, brainstorming a new venture, performing blessings, making soul collages or participating in a more traditional art fair. It’s all art to me and all part of the larger masterpiece I’m constantly cultivating, my life. I practice what I preach and move towards being more fully soul expressed each day, doing all that I can to live into the fullness of who I am and tap into my peak potential here on earth – and helping others do the same.

Art influences my business life directly since I believe entrepreneurship is one of the greatest forms of creative expression that there is. I’ve also always been involved in pushing the limits of systems and boundaries in order to re-create them, which helps me to carry big visions & execute big concepts for my ventures. This is why I’ve always been such a multi-passionate entrepreneur, and I’m sure this will continue into the future with all the ideas I have brewing of late;)

 

N :: You talk about aliveness a lot in your work. I’d like to know what makes you come alive and feel lit up?

L :: I thrive on bringing out the BEST in people – their soul essence, their aliveness, their peak, their bright joy and bold love – through my powerful multimedia ministry. Because I deeply believe that everyone matters in our world and there are too many individuals that are living in a spiritual, emotional, financial poverty. It lights me up to give people the power to build their own destinies while simultaneously challenging the status quo and breaking boundaries.

But the greatest sense of aliveness for me comes from being deeply useful to our world & our human species that is so deeply in need, bringing out my full creative expression through my various containers of transformation –  at present, the Mystic Sister Circle program, my upcoming book and also a social impact TV show – and making my livelihood from my service.

N :: What is your vision of the future?

L :: I envision a world where everyone is loved, cared for and nurtured with their basic human needs met so that they have the opportunity to thrive, including Mother Earth. A world where we live together as if in one global village, where love serves as the new bottom line and our oneness as human beings is fiercely understood, promoted & respected. A world where everyone is fully AWAKE to LIFE and engaged in self-mastery: redefining what fulfillment means, refusing to accept life as it’s given based on the status quo, and moving towards their full creative potential as well as inhabiting a life they totally love & helping others to do the same. A world where it is safe to bare our raw authentic selves to the world and express our unique voices, employing radical acceptance and empathy in order to uplevel our own lives as well as others’. A world where we all have personal & financial freedom and come about it from the sweet spot between altruism & self actualization, the individual & the collective. A world where everyone enjoys outrageous love, unbridled self-expression and total aliveness each day. A world filled with He(art) Warriors lighting up the world with their fierce love and serving to help and heal our planet.

What’s a He(art) Warrior™, you might ask?? An individual who is moving with courage and intensity towards living fully ALIVE and deeply engaged from the heart: the vital, essential Self. One who is creating their life as a great artistic masterpiece and cutting away what no longer serves in order to be boldly and authentically who they are & humbly serve our world. One who is choosing to see the world through the eyes of the heart & love fiercely in every moment. One who is returning home to who they’ve always been and daring to live into the fullness & depth of their Being each day to leave normal in the dust, SPARKLE shamelessly, and shake the world.

This is the movement I’m building each day and all my work, including the Mystic Sisters, is part of this larger vision. What can I say, I like to think big, and from the he(art) ;)


times square lainie love

Rev. Lainie Love Dalby is a visionary artist, urban priestess, author and transformational leader with her own brand of multimedia ministry. Recently pegged as a “Global Midwife for the 21st Century,” she will activate you to amp up your aliveness, claim your deep gifts, and create your life as a great Masterpiece for the good of all. Both a spiritual guide & ordained Interfaith Minister, she skillfully combines the disciplines of authentic soul expression, cultural innovation & urban spirituality. Lainie’s love-filled teachings include creative entrepreneurship, humanitarian leadership & soulful branding to help individuals and organizations lead more heart-centered, morally courageous and radically authentic businesses and lives.  As global ritualist Barbara Biziou has said, “Like a great sculpture, Lainie Love can see what lives inside of you and frees it to truly live fully.”

Her work has been featured in online global summits, TV & radio shows; presented at institutions such as Cornell University, The New School, Rush Arts, One Spirit Learning Alliance & SCOPE, and sought after by high profile art collectors as well as the stylists of Nicki Minaj & Paris Hilton. Her diverse talents & finesse have also appeared in the New York Times, NY Arts Magazine, Marie Claire Magazine, Paper Magazine, V Magazine, Time Out New York, and several other publications & blogs where, because of her marriage of unmistakable style & deep urban mysticism, she is often referred to as “The Lady Gaga of Consciousness & Spirituality.”

Q&A with Sherold Barr // Fear, Money, and our Work in the World

Posted on by Natasha

“I believe in pushing past fear to lead an extraordinary life.”

Sherold Barr is a master life coach and freedom fighter. She works with smart people who want to live a more meaningful and purposeful life and have no regrets. That’s you? Me too.

I’ve been working with Sherold for the past 2+ years and I am so grateful to have her in my life. Sherold came to me as a client and when I ventured out on my own in business I knew I wanted her in my corner. Sherold has that fierce combo that I adore in people: business savvy, and incredibly soulful at the same time. Sherold was a no brainer to include in this Q&A series and I’m grateful she made the time. These conversations are all about wisdom I’ve gained from being fortunate enough to know and work with people like Sherold – stuff I love sharing with friends – and that includes you.

So without further adieu…

Your tagline is: “Fear is your rocket fuel. Freedom is your reward.” I think a lot of us may not identity as being “fearful” but fear can certainly be lurking in the shadows, as a business owner. Why is it so important for us to recognize and acknowledge fear?

Starting and running a business is a journey.  You are creating something brand new and your comfort zone will be challenged and expanded.  Whenever you start something new that is challenging, fears will crop up and your inner critic will chime in with lack and attack thoughts.

I am a fear type on the Enneagram – The Loyal Skeptic.  I’ve dealt with fear my whole life.  I’ve learned to work with it and to use it to help me move up in business and life to new heights. I know for sure that I have found more freedom in my life from facing my worst fears.  It’s helped me become a stronger and more resilient person. I want to share that with others so that their fear can actually be a path to freedom.

It’s important to learn to decode fear.  Notice what scares you and where you have resistance.  If you have a big resistance to doing public speaking, perhaps this is where you are being called to show up.  The greater the fear, the more likely it is part of your destiny to do this.  Walk towards what you are afraid of especially if this is your dream.  Take small action steps to get comfortable.  I like to say that fear + action = courage.  I believe each of us has a Soul Assignment here in this lifetime.  It could be what we fear doing the most that would offer us the most growth.  Once you do what you feel afraid to do, you build confidence.  Your freedom is on the other side of what you are afraid of doing.

What’s your best tool for moving through fear?

The best thing you can do is to be conscious of what you’re feeling physically and notice what you’re thinking.  If you believe you aren’t good at something, you will live out that belief.  Ask the fear what it is trying to tell you.  Is it trying to keep you safe by playing small? There is a big difference in knowing if your safety is threatened versus not doing something because you feel vulnerable.

Last week I gave a talk at an event with around 175 people.  Nine of us gave a six-minute talk.  I’d hardly had time to focus exclusively on preparing the slides and my sound bites.  I was so busy with work that I kept thinking, “I’m not prepared.”  I started noticing that thought and knew that I wouldn’t be prepared and in fact I would be anxious if I kept that thought.  So I deconstructed that thought and decided I was prepared enough and I would practice more.  I did a beautiful job, and I was proud of myself. It gave me the confidence to do more speaking.

The other thing I recommend is to think back to times when you did something that felt impossible.  In preparation for this talk, I started thinking about all the times in my life when I spoke in front of people.  Back in 7th grade I was nominated for class Treasurer and got up behind a podium in front of the whole school and gave a speech.  I became Treasurer each year in middle school and remember feeling proud I had pulled that off.  I also spoke two years ago at World Domination Summit and that talk went well.  So I knew I could do it.  I relied on what I knew I could do.  This is important for each of us to do – go back to when something felt hard or impossible.  Lean on that.

What is the #1 mistake you see women make with their money, or money mindset?

They do not look at their numbers.  They are afraid to look at their finances for fear of what they’ll see.  They give their power to money and their self-worth is tied to what they make or don’t make. This is all a matter of what they believe about money.  Not looking at your finances actually creates more stress and anxiety.  What you resist will grow.  Women tend to have their partner handle the finances.  I’ve done that in my life and if we don’t take charge or be a partner in the finances, statistics show that we live an average of five years longer than our husbands/partners and having to take charge if a partner passes away is not the time to learn about finances.

I also like to have women define what money means to them.  Ask yourself what would you have to believe about money to have your current financial situation?

What’s the turnaround/your advice on that?

I believe to be good in business, you must be comfortable with money.  If you aren’t comfortable with money, how can you grow a business and put the right dollar figure on the value your business delivers?  All business people need to track their numbers – know what it costs to run your business on a monthly basis.  This will tell you the baseline of what you want to bring in.  Then make a stretch goal that is edgy and plan out what you will need to do each month to bring that amount of money in.  Take small steps of consistent action.  Track your monthly revenue and expenses.  Track the number of times you speak to potential clients each week.  If you are a coach and you are not talking to potential customers, you are in effect not open for business.

As a service provider, you need to know how many potential clients you must talk with each week to get new clients.  That means you need to be out reaching people – speaking or networking – and making sales “asks.”

As a life coach, what’s the biggest piece of advice you’d give someone who’s starting their own business? Or taking their current one to the next level?

The people who succeed in business have a coach or mentor who is ahead of them in terms of building their business.  A mentor teaches you things you don’t know. In the first few years of business, it’s all about creating consistent revenue.  You want to select someone who will share the fastest route to making money and finding your ideal clients.  Then after you create consistent income, you create top-level income.  This would be a digital book, a digital program, an information product that you sell.  You would build out a sales funnel so that you are promoting some aspect of your business monthly.

You want to know exactly how much money you want to make and make a plan to take the action to get there.  You want to focus on revenue generating activities.  Have a big bold money goal and break it down into actionable monthly steps you will take to bring in the revenue.   If you aren’t clear on what you want to earn this year, you will not get clear results.  Money loves clarity and attention.

How important is ‘soul work’ when it comes to running a business?

If you step aside for a moment, and assume your business had a Soul, what would it want for you to have, be and do in this business?  My business would want me to meditate each morning before I start working, it would want me to exercise in some way daily, it would want me to build the business to support my life.  The way I do my business planning is that I decide what I want to be and do in my life each year first then plan my business schedule (launches) around what I have scheduled in my life.  Ask yourself what is your business bringing to the world?

Natasha, you are all about beauty and adding beauty to the world.  Your call is to serve at a higher level and to help others by guiding them to create a consistent brand identity that captures who they are at a deep level.

I am all about helping people evolve to live out their Soul’s destiny and move through fear, limiting beliefs and negative thoughts to step into who they are meant to be in this lifetime.  That is what I call your Soul’s revolution – evolving through obstacles and fears to live out your true potential.  Entrepreneurs are on a Hero’s Journey whether they know it or not.  There will be challenges (dragons to slay) and there will be mentors.  Accepting the call and challenge is the way and understanding that everyone has dragons to slay and these are here to help us evolve in this lifetime.

You and I love books! What is your #1 “must read” on the following subjects:

Money: Suze Orman’s The Money Class: How to Stand In Your Truth and Create the Future You Deserve – a must read for all women and men.

Entrepreneurship: Seth Godin is my favorite guy.  He’s brilliant and his book Tribes was excellent, All Marketers Tell Stories, and Nancy Duarte’s book Resonate is fantastic.

Soul work: The Soul’s Code by James Hillman

So many of the people that come my way may have been working “behind the scenes” of their business…and are now ready to step out into the spotlight . Maybe they’ve been hiding behind a company name and are ready to brand themselves. Or they’re ready to up their game, and presence online, and off. What advice do you have for those of us who are scared of putting ourselves “out there”?

I see women playing small and not accepting that each one of us has unlimited possibilities financially – The Universe is here to support us yet most people do not believe that.  I love tro say dream bigger than you are dreaming and take small steps and expand your comfort zone.

Maintain awareness of your work through social media and by posting your blogs on Facebook and Twitter.  Each time you post, it raises awareness.  People will begin to follow you and if they like your content they will sign up on your list.  Guest posting on a site will also help you get known.

My tried and true (works every time) technique to prepare to speak or do something that feels almost impossible is to visualize in advance.  A week or more before the event, I see myself clearly in what I will wear and see myself and calm and confident.  Where the mind goes, the body follows.  You are rehearsing in advance.

One of the many wonderful tools you’ve given me is the “what are you tolerating” list…can you explain what this is and how to use it?

This is such a terrific tool.  I asked you to list 20 things that you were tolerating in your life and work.  Then I asked you to prioritize your top three and take action to change them.  We all tolerate too much and it builds up and this is what creates the feeling of being overwhelmed.  For example, I have a tremendous amount of emails in my inbox. I need to unsubscribe and delete a lot instead of thinking I will read them.  Lately I’ve been working to delete at least  200 or more at a time.  I feel so good doing that task.  It’s about shifting the feelings you are having before and after.  Look at what you don’t like doing and see if you can stop doing it or hire or delegate that task to someone else.  If not, how can you make it a better experience?

What is the one thing/tool/thought every one of us can do TODAY to help us move forward in our lives/business?

Know the end result you want to have in your business each year and start planning from there.  This is how you make sure you know where you are going – you start at the end in mind that you want to achieve and then plan your business or your life to get you there.  I ask my clients and Smart Women Make Money participants to get crystal clear about their result and create a Big Bold Money goal as well.  Here’s the pdf that I use in my money class for you to use for planning:  HowtoCreateYourIdealFinancialLife_SheroldBarr

Good luck!

Thank you Sherold!

 

055E_Sherold-2_touched upSherold Barr wants to live in a world where women experience financial freedom and ease in their life and businesses.

As a coach and mentor to women entrepreneurs, she’s been a speaker at World Domination Summit, featured on Kris Carr’s Crazy Sexy Life blog, Roots of She, and A Year With Myself.  She is the founder of Smart Women Make Money™ – helping women transform their relationship with money so that they can earn and manifest the money to support the life they want to live.

When she’s not helping clients start online businesses and teaching women to make more money, you can find her cross country skiing, snow shoeing, hiking, traveling or hanging out with her two dogs and husband.

Sherold recently released her digital manifesto – 10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Was 30: Hard Won Lessons for an Awakened Life.  It is available for free here.

Learn more about Sherold Barr here.

Q&A with Gail Larsen // Transformational Speaking

Posted on by Natasha

“Transform your relationship with your voice via the deepest stirrings of your soul.”

That’s what Fast Company said about the work of my friend Gail Larsen.

Because you’re part of my world, I know you’re likely concerned about important issues. And you’ve probably heard an inner voice prompting you to speak up and say something that will make a difference.

I’d heard great things about Gail’s work, and when I learned she would be in my city offering a 2 day workshop I jumped at the chance to learn from her. (Gail’s regular gig is an immersion experience in Santa Fe that’s sold out months in advance). I thought learning to be a great public speaker was about being polished, poised and removing “like” and “um” from your vocabulary. Gail taught me that great speakers are also vulnerable, passionate, authentic, courageous, insightful, reflective, and sincere. Gail is a master at seeing what’s real.

Whether you just want to explore your truth and share it one-on-one, or are ready to make a bigger impact by speaking to audiences, I know Gail can help you courageously and effectively express what you’re called to say.

Settle in for an enlightening Q&A…and then be sure to check out Gail’s new course, Transformational Speaking Online!

Gail, your work builds on a philosophy that comes from indigenous culture, which teaches us about “original medicine”. The idea being that each of us is unique, nowhere else duplicated. As you say, it reflects our individual gifts and talents – and that these are to be revealed in our lives, our work and our speaking. You say that honoring this requires our willingness to stand out rather than fit in.

Can you give us an example – who in your opinion has embodied their “original medicine” as a great speaker?

A person doesn’t need to relate to the term Original Medicine to exemplify it.  Anytime you experience a speaker who is completely at home in themselves, without apology or self-consciousness, they are expressing their medicine. They don’t engage in comparison or competition but trust their distinctive essence rather than waiting to see what is expected. As a result, you’ll often experience the unexpected in their presence. Medicine can be soft, it can be strong, it can be subtle – or all three – but it is in absolute alignment and trust in one’s original gift. Some of the name speakers who trust their medicine, whether or not they relate to the term, or whether or not you like their style, are the late motivational speaker Zig Ziglar and the over-the-top Tony Robbins. I recently heard Amy Goodman of Democracy Now! speak, and she is as good as they come. I don’t know how she holds the issues she reports on daily with the light and energy she brings to her audiences. Yet her medicine is one of clarity, courage, commitment, and inspiration.

What’s YOUR original medicine? How does it relate to the gift you want to give the world?

My medicine name came to me when a client was introducing me and described me in a way that had yet to enter my awareness.  Her naming of my medicine in that moment actually caused me to fall silent because it felt really big and I also recognized it to be true when I am operating in my gift and strength. Rumi said, “We each have a king inside who recognizes what delights the soul.” That internal recognition of my gift was a sacred moment, and now I rarely tell others my medicine name except when I am teaching and students ask. You’d be surprised how seldom that happens as they are so deep into their own exploration!

Our medicine name is not something we put on a business card because often it is private and sacred and would make no sense to someone else, only to that king inside. I remind myself of my medicine to call my gift forward, especially when I question myself. That’s the beauty of it. When we’re not at our best, it is an internal call to stand in the power of the truth of who we are. Who do I think I am?  My medicine reminds me of who I am beyond any self-doubt or criticism. And reminds me that we must express our medicine or it is lost to the world for all time.

An unexpected outcome of taking your workshop was that I realized we have an opportunity to communicate in this way, not just when we’re on stage, being interviewed or “invited” to speak…but every day, in every conversation. This was a revelation for me. What’s one element of Transformational Speaking that we can bring to everyday interactions with others, not just when we’re on stage?

The most transformational practice I can recommend is to act and speak from our HomeZone™ consistently. It requires that we get out of our heads and feel our connection to the ground beneath our feet. When we truly embody what we’re saying and are present for others, people not only hear us but feel our intention and presence. (More on the Home Zone™ below…)

You have 12 principles for developing your way to becoming a great speaker. I love #1 which is “speak the one good word”. From David Whyte’s poem: “Loaves and Fishes”:

This is not

the age of information…

People are hungry,

and one good word is bread

for a thousand.

When we’re building our businesses, why must we speak that “one good word” to our clients?

In a world of information overload, that “one good word” you speak will resonate so strongly with a potential client that they will choose to work with you.

What is that one good word?  I’m reminded of Curly, the wizened cowboy in City Slickers, telling Billy Crystal there was “just one thing“ he needed to know. Crystal thought he was on to the secret of life and asked, “What is it?”  Curly says, “You have to find it.” I submit that “it” will come from living and expressing our Original Medicine.

You teach about the “comfort zone” (which will get us invited to speak) and the “home zone” (which will get us invited back). I think a lot of us are striving just to feel comfortable on stage. What’s the difference, and how do we move from the comfort zone to the home zone?

The comfort zone is eminently professional.  It is our facts and information, our credentials.  It gets us hired, but it isn’t particularly memorable. The HomeZone™ moves us from the professional to the personal. It is a way of speaking where our stories show our authenticity and vulnerability and humanity.  We need both, of course! But without the HomeZone™, a talk doesn’t stick or generate action.

You called me out on ending my sentences as questions when I speak, which I never realized I did until that instant! Is there something you see us doing, that makes you cringe when speaking (besides using um, like, etc.)?

I actually don’t cringe with “um” because if one is “home” it isn’t noticeable. When it is noticeable is it because a speaker is actually lost for words or unprepared and they are fumbling to find what’s next. Ending sentences is an important skill so your audience can track with you and have some space to catch up. The communications flaw that for me is the most challenging is ending a declarative statement with a lilt at the end, making it a question. (It is called Valley Girl Syndrome.)  It strips a speaker of her power and authority in an instant. And it is more common with women than with men.

As you know, I work with modern entrepreneurs, changemakers who are passionate about creating a better future. A big part of their work is speaking to audiences to get across their core message. You define a core message as expressed by the writer Rilke:

“Go into yourself.

Find the reason that commands you to write (speak!)

See whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart;

Confess to yourself whether you would have to die

If you were forbidden to write (speak) it!”

This really invites us to consider our core message. It’s asking us – does this really pull not only at our audience, but at us, in that way…does it have that level of depth/power. We’re not just talking about expertise here, but about what moves us – either inspires us or disturbs us on a personal level. I think what might set a good speaker apart from a fantastic one is this distinction – what’s your advice on “finding” your core message?

Most of us have a lifetime of material from which to draw which is often the challenge in defining our core message. The most direct route is to set aside finding it as a strategy and to ask yourself, “If I had just one minute to speak, what is the most essential message I want to leave with my audience?” It forces us to hone that vast reservoir of content into a concise statement that reflects what we most care about.

When you’re clear about your medicine and your message, it simplifies and amplifies everything you do in the world. That’s because you recognize that if you can’t express who you are and what you most care about, it is not worth committing your time and energy. You know what to say yes to and what to say no to. That’s a great gift to yourself and to the world!

I made a note from our workshop that I’m curious about…you talked about how we act is our activism, how we think is our advocacy, and that there is a field of energy above that, on our soul level – and that we need to be there as a speaker, that in some way we need to be silent so the energy can go up, and that this is the level of artistry. Can you expand on this idea?

There are four levels of engagement.

Level 1 – the literal level – is that of information. It informs the Activist, who perceives a symptom, a dis/ease in society that needs to change. The message? Wake up and change what you’re doing! When we receive a directive like that, we tend to resist and shut down.  Our own internal arguments and set of facts rise up.

Level II – the level of the mind – is where we engage others through insight. It informs the speech of the Advocate, who asks: What information can I provide to change your mind so you will grasp the importance and think differently about this issue? Sparking insight can stimulate a desire for change – but it falls short because hearing a good idea doesn’t mean we’re going to do anything with it.

Level III – the level of the soul – is that of the imagination, or the Artist. Here we experience the power of story, song, poetry, art, and ceremony, forms that bypass the rational mind and touch us emotionally. Being touched at the soul level is the level that has the best shot of moving us to act.  This is where we hear a call to align with something greater than ourselves. At that point, the information and insight we’ve gained is more likely to be implemented. Viola – change happens!

Level IV – the level of spirit – is the place of illumination and is Beyond Words. There we transcend the limits of our bodies, minds, and emotions.  We are transported into the realm of the sacred. This is not something a speaker can plan, but when we feel that rare energy with an audience, we reached a place of oneness where anything is possible. Our capacity to inhabit that place and just be silent speaks volumes.

I remember you talked about three stages of life, and that being in the third one, you have a lot of wisdom, and you basically don’t put up with s***. So give it to us – what is your biggest piece of advice when it comes to public speaking? In your opinion, what’s the one thing we all need to know or take action on when it comes to our speaking?

You’re referring to the “three faces,” a wisdom teaching I received from my teacher, cultural anthropologist Angeles Arrien. It tells us that we will stay alive to our lives (and our speaking!) if we express the three faces. (Here’s a video of my talking about them.)

The first is the face of the child, the face of wonder and curiosity and awe.

The second is the face of the young lad or young maiden, seized by passion and creative fire.

The third is the face of the elder, having seen what we’ve seen and knowing what we know. It is called the face of Rude Magnificence! Don’t you love it?

So from my face of rude magnificence, the one thing I ask you to take action on is to find what is yours to do and do it. Use your voice for needed change. Don’t make excuses. Speak your truth and find your tribe. Be the Holy Fool. And join me April 1 for my Holy Fools Day Celebration and be inspired to break with convention and find your voice as a radical change artist. The world is calling for your greatness!

Thank you Gail!
It means so much to have you be a part of this series.
xo
Natasha

TSO-LargeGail offers a 4 day immersion in Santa Fe, NM, for only 6 participants to learn the “heart and art” of speaking. You get ongoing individual coaching on video throughout the class, and leave with a new presentation that expresses the power of who you are and what you love. Doesn’t that sounds fantastic?

If you prefer to work from home, or are held back from attending her live workshop by time, travel or expense…check out Transformational Speaking™ Online!

Gail Larsen is the founder of Real Speaking® (www.realspeaking.com) and the award-winning author of Transformational Speaking: If You Want to Change the World, Tell a Better Story (Random House and Brilliance Audio). Her work has been described by Fast Company as “transforming your relationship to your voice via the deepest stirrings of your soul.” Gail delights in each person finding their distinctive and influential way to speak from the truth of who they are and what they care about to open hearts, inspire change, and move people to act. An SBA award-winning entrepreneur and catalyst for life-affirming ventures, her original approach to communication draws from her own journey as a previously reluctant speaker, her respect for indigenous wisdom, twenty-five years in the world of speaking, and wide experience in business and association management. She is a former EVP of the worldwide National Speakers Association. Gail teaches annually at Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, and offers her Transformational Speaking™ Immersions exclusively in Santa Fe, NM. And you can now take her celebrated course online!

 

 

Q&A with Laura Belgray // Copywriting

Posted on by Natasha

I’m so happy to share this conversation with you. Do you know Marie Forleo‘s copywriter, Laura Belgray? You should. For starters, she helps Marie create her Webby award winning show Marie TV, and I vouch for Laura first-hand, as I’ve seen her transform copy for many of my clients. Laura helps entrepreneurs make their writing “more compelling, entertaining, and money-making”.

As far as I’m concerned great copy is one of the musts when it comes to creating a magnetic online presence. Even if you consider yourself a good writer, I invite you to get in on this convo. It’s full of helpful advice from a total pro, who knows how to have fun with copy.

So Laura, tell us – how can our copy (writing) set us apart from others – as online entrepreneurs or in general?

The same way a person sets themselves apart in the world: with personality. To me, the best copy sounds like something you’d say. And rather than being clever, it’s often almost-dumb. For instance, one of my favorite billboards ever was for the show King of The Hill. It was a picture of the kid, Bobby, and the line was: LIKE BART SIMPSON, BUT FATTER. Simple and dumb and genius.

Most businesses have terrible copy. It might not seem that way, because the ones who catch your eye have awesome copy. But the truth is, if your copy is punchy and conversational and to the point, and resonates with your audience, you are WAY ahead of the pack.

Okay, so if we’re writing our web copy ourselves, where can we look for inspiration? What should we pay attention to?

For inspiration and pointers, hang in there – because Marie Forleo and I are creating a course this year. Get on our lists and you’ll be the first to know when it’s available.

OK, plug over.

Pay attention to marketing outside your industry. I can’t emphasize this enough. When you see great copy from someone who does what you do, if you’re at all like me, it’ll just deflate you. You’ll wish you’d thought of it, then wish you could steal it, then realize neither is possible since you can’t go back in time and you have a sense of dignity. And you’ll get stuck thinking that’s the only way to say what you wanted to say in the whole world. So, yeah. If you’re a health coach, look at car ads on TV, or about pages of handbag designers. Just stay away from looking at other coaches’ copy.

Pay attention, again, to language you use with your friends. Language your clients use with you. What phrase would someone be eager (as opposed to embarrassed) to repeat? For instance, if I were telling my husband about a healthy cooking class I’d signed up for, I’d say “They teach total kitchen dunces how to cook healthy meals that don’t taste diet-y.” I would not say, “They empower women with little cooking experience to embark on a maiden journey of delicious, nutritious cooking for life.”

Tip: drop the kind of language you get caught up in when you immerse yourself in an industry, and going back to the language you used before you ever heard all these words. For instance, forget you ever heard phrases like “attract abundance.” That’s a euphemism for being a luck-and-money magnet. Also overused, but way more to the point.

Love it. Love looking outside your industry – completely agree. It pulls you out of the loop you can get stuck in when you’re comparing yourself to your colleagues.
Next Q: What would help us become better writers? What would make the process more fun (or less intimidating)?

One trick I have for channeling my natural voice is to start an email to a friend, and actually put her address in the to: field, and write whatever copy I’m struggling with as a message to her. For instance: I wouldn’t say,

Dear Victoria,
Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to write effective, authentic sounding copy? If you’re like millions of others, you probably struggle with this challenge.

This is one of my very best friends. To her, I’d write,

Hey!
Question for you: you ever have a shitty time trying to write good copy? As in, copy that sounds like you and gets right to the point? You’re normal (I mean, besides being a beautiful genius) so I’m guessing you do.

This is especially helpful for writing your actual emails, but also for coming up with copy for your website and other areas of your marketing. It loosens you up, assuming you don’t hate writing emails to your best friends.

Another trick: play around. Write your copy in caveman (or cavewoman) style:  Me make people with small business have good words for make more money. Send right message, bring right clients!

You have to do it without trying to make it good. It’s just an exercise to loosen you up and see what comes out.

Genius. I find myself using this when I write emails, particularly when I’m asking for something. I feel myself get super-wordy and resort to the kind of writing we were taught in school. Which is dry and not at all how we actually sound. So I love this.
OK…what is the #1 mistake you see online entrepreneurs make with their copy? (And how can they fix it).

Big mistake: confusing professional with formal. Your copy doesn’t have to be formal to be professional. If it’s accurate, spell-checked, and nicely laid out by an excellent designer {*cough* *Natasha Lakos*} then it can be casual and down-homey and slangy as all get out.

Folks think they’ve gotta write just like Old Mrs. Fishenstein taught them in 8th Grade English. She’d take off points for that whole sentence. Or for what I’m about to write: Me, I like it just fine.

So, how does one go about finding a copywriter? Other than word of mouth, are there professional groups online, or what would you suggest?

That’s a tough one. I do believe in word of mouth, because there’s so much you don’t know from checking people out online: are they responsive and easy to work with, or will they take your money to the craps table in sad-sack Atlantic City and never be heard from again? In terms of hiring people, I’ve had good luck being part of professional communities like Marie Forleo’s B-School. People are eager to recommend the pros they love, and usually chime in pretty quickly.

Okay, we’ve taken it up a notch and hired a copywriter – what should we be sure I be sure to tell them so they “get” us, so they can capture the essence of who we are, what we do, how we help people?

Find some examples of copy you hate, and more of copy you love.

Talking personally on the phone, just chit-chatting about nothing, can be really helpful.

Pay attention to and note down the words your clients use when they talk about what you do for them, and the words you use when you describe what you do at, say, a party.

For instance, if you tend to tell people, “I help high school seniors write essays that get them into Ivy League colleges,” use that. Not, “I help mindful young adults at the pinnacle of their secondary school journey express themselves through powerful words that cut through the clutter in the top-tier college admissions process.”  More complicated does not equal more sophisticated. (This is actually advice you can use for writing your own copy.)

What can we do to make sure we’re ready to work with a copywriter? Is there any prep work we can do that helps you do a bang-up job?

One of my latest and best-prepped clients came to me with material for each section she wanted to work on, such as: About, Shop, Book a Session (including separate pages within that for Women, Couples, Families etc.) The material she’d prepared was bits and pieces of language she liked, plus the apologies and objections she heard from every single client – like, “I bribed my kid with candy to do this shoot“ or “What if I don’t want to wear lingerie?”

That made it really easy. It was a goldmine of language that’ll hit home with the right people, and the puzzle was mostly in figuring out where it would go.

So, I’d recommend keeping a google doc full of that stuff. Separate phrases and words you’d like to use, organized by section of your website if possible.

A tip about google docs: make sure you keep an original copy of all the stuff you send your copywriter. It can be in an identical doc that you don’t share, or in a sacred, “do not delete” notes section at the bottom. This way, if the copywriter changes something and you liked your original better, you still have it to go back to.

What’s the #1 tip you have for entrepreneurs and artists when it comes to their writing? What’s the one thing you want to shout from the rooftops when it comes to the power of the written word?

You don’t need to say everything. Say just enough to make someone else say, “Ooh, gimme that.”

Thank you Laura!

UntitledLaura Belgray, founder of Talking Shrimp, helps entrepreneurs make their writing more compelling, entertaining, and money-making. Her expertise in catchy copy comes from almost 20 years (and counting) of writing promos for TV. In other words, she gets paid to watch shows like “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” and write commercials that get you to watch them, too.  She also co-writes the Webby-honored Marie TV, and she’s not afraid to boast about it. Nor is she afraid to tell you that she loves Real Housewives.

Go find her and her blog at talkingshrimp.com

Q&A with Christa Meola // Photography for Your Brand

Posted on by Natasha

A while ago it occurred to me that I know all these amazing, talented, professional creatives (personal stylists, photographers, copywriters, etc) that you should know too. More than that, you should be in on the conversations we’ve had…when we’ve been jamming at a workshop, pontificating over a cheese plate in Paris, or catching up on Skype. We love talking art, business, design and branding. What works and what doesn’t. Basically, the stuff that helps YOU create a MAGNETIC BRAND.

I’ve been chatting with these pros, recording our convos, and curating juicy Q&As, which I think are full of useful advice – stuff that you can take and put into action, or keep in mind when you need to hire one of these pros, or pull a DIY.

We’ve done this old school, in writing, so grab a bevvy and come join us…

Meet Christa! She’s a dear friend of mine who also happens to be a pro photographer. Christa is based in NYC and her work has taken her all over the world. She’s also a teacher and writer and the best person I know at photographing women (read her full bio at the end of our Q&A). Her expertise and insight is so valuable I want to share it with you here…

Natasha: First Q, how does one go about finding a “personal branding” photographer?

Christa: Very enthusiastic personal referral is always my favorite way to find collaborators. But you know, you can go on Pinterest and start pinning shots that you love and you’re invariably going to come across someone that you’re pinning again and again and again. Look at what you’re attracted to and find out who’s the photographer behind them. Check them out online, see if they have testimonials and a solid body of work.  And then you have friends that you know love their images, so ask if they loved their photographer, if they loved working with them.

Natasha: How would you answer the Q “What should I wear (to my shoot)?”…

Christa: You do need to have  a discussion with whoever’s designing your website because what you wear is going to be what they have to work with in terms of color but also in terms of what you’re communicating. You have to think about your brand. Are you wearing a leather jacket or a summer dress? All black or hot pink? What you wear communicates a lot about your brand. Not only should it be flattering (that’s something a stylist can help you with – finding something that’s complementary to you), but also consider that what you’re wearing is going to be on your website. It needs to work with your overall brand and design.

Natasha: What should someone bring to their photoshoot?

Christa: Bring more than you think you’ll need. You should have a number of choices because some things won’t work on camera, and your photographer can help you make those decisions. You definitely should have a variety and not just bring 10 different black outfits. If you can afford to have a stylist work with you either in prepping, planning via Skype, or actually on the shoot to help accessorize and style you that’s great. They will help fit things, make sure clothes flatter you better, pay attention to  things that maybe your photographer is too busy to catch – things like maybe the lapel on your jacket isn’t sitting right or something is showing that shouldn’t be.

Natasha: So you would be cool with a stylist being at the shoot?

Christa: It’s not absolutely necessary, but yes, a stylist makes my job so much easier! Because if a stylist isn’t on set, I have to take over that job as well. I’ll sometimes have to retouch images because a bra is showing or a hem slipped out or – all those things that happen with wardrobe where it would be so nice if a stylist was there. Also they are pros at what they do so they’re going to make you look so awesome in terms of what you’re wearing. Also, the stylist has all those other things…lint rollers, scissors, clamps…a lot of them bring items that you don’t have to go shopping for. If you don’t have a stylist you should definitely bring those items yourself.

Natasha: Should someone practice their poses or expressions before the shoot?

Christa: No, I’m gonna say no. Unless that makes you feel more confident. But a pro photographer who’s great knows how to coach genuine expressions from you and can also flatter you in posing. I think all you really need to practice is good posture. And everyone knows what good posture should be. Shoulders down, head out, chin down, straight back. Not a sucked in gut but tight abs. Other than that, it’s your photographer’s job to know what’s flattering and can position you.

Natasha: What can we do the day/week before our shoot to make sure we’re ready?

Christa: You definitely want to make sure you’ve had a discussion with your designer (or whoever’s doing your website) so you’re all on the same page. You want to make sure you’ve shopped for all the necessary items: accessories and shoes included.

Don’t schedule a new haircut, tanning, or botox right before your shoot. You do not want to do that. Nothing that could turn into a disaster – don’t do any of those!

You definitely want to have a mani/pedi – and I would say do that a day before not a week before. That’s probably the biggest mistake I see with not being prepared, people will say to me “Oh I didn’t know my hands were going to be in the shot!”

A week before I would also get in touch with my photographer to check in, and say “This is what I have, what I’m bringing, and is there anything else I should have, do or be aware of?”

Lastly, get a good night’s sleep, make sure you’re moisturized, and show up to have fun! There’s really not much more you have to do :)

Natasha: This is something that comes up when someone’s considering what kind of photography they need for their site. When it comes to creating an online brand, what are your thoughts on a studio session vs. “lifestyle shots”…I get the question sometimes, “is a headshot enough?”…

Christa: This is such a good question and this is a long answer! If it’s done well, one single photograph of you, your face, regardless of what’s in the background or isn’t (it could be a white background, grey, blue, New York City, a beach, a desert, whatever) communicates a lot. It focuses on your face, expression, thoughts and emotion.

Having said that, if you’re a lifestyle brand, meaning if what you’re selling is your lifestyle and how to get it, then you need to showcase that. Which is why we see so many online brands/personalities where the person’s running around here and there, at home with their hubby, or with their cappuccino in the morning or on the streets with their dog and all that stuff, with the city in the background, on the top of a building, at the beach doing yoga – it’s all communicating something.

Determining if one shot is enough is so personal to each individual and his/her brand. There’s no right or a wrong. It depends also on the photographer and if he/she nails what you need in one shot. Consider also your designer’s wants and needs. Are they designing an experience for the viewer that has your face on every single page and every single opt-in and badge and everything? Consider your future goals and needs in terms of this shoot. Do you want these photos to serve you for the next two or three years? You may need several in that case.

As a photographer I would like the freedom to ask what’s important to you, what are you trying to communicate, what are your needs, and then capture that.

Natasha: Yes, and I think we need to make the distinction between “headshot” and “portrait”.

Christa: Yeah, I think everyone has a different definition of “headshot” and “portrait.”

Natasha: Headshot for me is cheesy realtor headshot for the side of a bus or something. You know – they all look the same, with the crossed arms. It’s not really reflective of their character.

Christa: It’s the mugshot! It’s not really a portrait of someone. Yeah that’s a really good distinction.

Honestly, I like doing a mixture when I’m hired by someone, because it’s an investment. I always shoot for a straight up honest, classic portrait that doesn’t have anything in the background. Because what if you move, evolve and grow?! I want something that’s timeless and the essence of it is you but then I also want something that’s going to capture what your work is like, all the details of your job. For instance I photographed a chef recently, we did tons of shots of her cooking, playing with food, hosting a party, tight portraits, her pantry, cookbooks etc. When I shot you I did your hands drawing, notes that you wrote, stuff you love that’s part of your brand. So it doesn’t need to be “you, you, you” in every shot.

Natasha: What’s the #1 mistake you see women entrepreneurs (or men) make with their photography? (This is my way of asking what really chaps your a** when it comes to photography you see online!)

Christa: Oh my goodness, what really chaps my a** is people using amateur photography and yet charging premium prices for their own services, or wondering why there are no clients when they have such lousy photos. I actually heard a colleague tell another colleague “Oh you don’t need pro photos, you’re so photogenic, you’re so beautiful”…to me, being beautiful has nothing to do with having professional photography! My response to that is: “I know you don’t think you realize the difference, but if you saw your photo that your Aunt Sally took alongside a pro’s photo of you, you will see the difference.”

However, if you must, I’m all for bootstrapping! If you don’t have the budget then great – it’s important to get yourself out there. Trade your services for a pro if you can. Hire the best that you can. Fewer quality shots are better than a bunch of mediocre ones.

Think about it this way… for most online entrepreneurs – you don’t have a store. Your clients don’t get the experience of walking into an amazing location with great architecture, and details, and beautiful products on the shelves…or conversely, a badly lit walmart. I hate going into someone’s website experience and seeing lousy photos!

Natasha: I do too. It’s one of the questions I ask upfront, it’s on my intake form. And it’s there because I’ve realized that some of us honestly just haven’t really thought about it. It might be on someone’s “to do” list, or they’re making do with what they have. So that’s part of this Q&A series – I want to spotlight the elements that make a great online presence.

Christa: And then the other pet peeve would be, too many shots smiling at the camera. Your photographer should shoot a variety of shots. Is there anything else besides smiling at the camera that you want to communicate?

Natasha: What’s the biggest piece of advice you would give someone who needs photography for their site?

Christa: To have a discussion with the designer and the photographer so none of the investment is wasted and everyone’s aligned. So you don’t surprise the designer with the photographs, so they’re related. My biggest pieces of advice is actually to do everything with intention. So when you go shopping for outfits you know what you’re looking for and why and what you’re gonna communicate with it, not just “oh I’ll go look for something pretty”.

Natasha: So how would you feel about getting a Pinterest board from a client or their designer?

Christa: I love that! I do a Pinterest board for every client, I don’t shoot without one. I like to include the client in a collaboration of what we’ll be shooting. I have them help me create the shot list. How many close-ups do we need? How many full body? Do we need horizontal, landscape or portrait justification? Do you need stuff shot on green screen? This is all stuff you and your designer need to have a conversation on.

Natasha: So as far as the shot list, is it up to a client to tell you how many shots they need?

Christa: Not really, but if you don’t have a photographer that’s on the ball or asks, you have to do that for yourself. You don’t want to show up thinking “I hope we get one great shot”, or “we’ll see what we get”, but rather have an idea of what you need to communicate.

For example for Mama Gena, she needed dark images for when she’s communicating about negative emotions. Then we needed her classic look in her fishnets, something else to communicate high energy. We did stuff in the street, where she lives, graffiti, etc. We had a whole list and we narrowed it down to what we could do in one day. A lot of a photographer’s job is setting expectations. If you want to have a successful shoot, you need to be realistic about what you can expect, otherwise you’re going to be disappointed.

Natasha: That’s huge.

Christa: Huge!

Natasha: Let’s touch on hair and make-up, I think this will be helpful for people…

Christa: You have to have a pro. Have to. Because you don’t look like you look in real life, on camera. I need to see darker lashes and eyebrows and contouring so it can show up onscreen. It’s not like you need makeup because you’re not attractive or because I don’t want it to look like you. No, we actually need it to look like you on camera – that’s why we need makeup, and a pro is gonna know how to do that.

And the hair thing – if you wanna look polished and feel awesome then get your hair done. But the makeup is another story – it’s actually really essential because it helps read on camera.

Thank you Christa!

ChristaMEOLAChrista Meola is an internationally recognized photographer, speaker, teacher, and author of the five-star reviewed The Art of Boudoir Photography, How to Create Stunning Photographs of Women.

Her knack for telling a story through her lens has made her a go-to for private portrait shoots, among celebrities, families and everyday extraordinary people. From her home base in NYC and destinations around the world, Christa has photographed subjects ranging from Hall of Fame rockers to champion boxers, and taught thousands of photographers the secrets of her business.

While the other kids played dress-up, little Christa photographed it. Behind the camera since age six, she and her work have been featured on Good Morning America, Inside Edition, creativeLIVE, The NY Post, The Huffington Post, and Professional Photographers magazine .

She’s been invited to teach in Spain, Italy, France, South America, Canada, and across the US. And once, backstage in LA, where she hugged Michael Buble.

Learn more about Christa on her popular site ChristaMeola.com.

Q&A with Scarlet Chamberlin // Personal Styling

Posted on by Natasha

So a while ago it occurred to me that I know all these amazing, talented, professional creatives (personal stylists, photographers, copywriters, etc) that you should know too. More than that, you should be in on the conversations we’ve had…when we’ve been jamming at a workshop, pontificating over a cheese plate in Paris, or catching up on Skype. We love talking art, business, design and branding. What works and what doesn’t. Basically, the stuff that helps YOU create a MAGNETIC BRAND.

I’ve been chatting with these pros, recording our convos, and curating juicy Q&As, which I think are full of useful advice – stuff that you can take and put into action, or keep in mind when you need to hire one of these pros, or pull a DIY.

We’ve done this old school, in writing, so grab a bevvy and come join us.

Meet Scarlet. She’s my friend, and a personal stylist, based in Portland, Oregon. She works with entrepreneurs, performers, authors, artists and healers. You’ve seen her looks at the Oscars, on stage, and probably on the streets where you live. She’s all about having us dress so that we can stand taller and look the world in the eye (don’t you love that?!). Scarlet calls herself a “slow fashion ambassador”. She surfs. She designs jewelery. She gets krunk on the dance floor. (Her full bio and info is at the end of our convo).

Natasha: So, first Q, why should an online entrepreneur work with a stylist?

Scarlet: You have 4 seconds to make a positive first impression, so you want that impression to be the best version of yourself. Having a stylist who can nudge you towards the items that are going to fit and flatter and express the vision that you have for yourself is time saving!

As an entrepreneur, when you’re rebranding there are so many other things to worry about – a stylist can take care of that aspect for you and set you up for success. It means having another member on your team to support you.

When I work with clients and know they’re getting ready for a photo shoot, I give them the tools to get ready, beyond the actual wardrobe. I might suggest a 3 day cleanse, because how you feel about yourself on the inside shows, and I think for pictures it’s the worst when you don’t feel great that day – your confidence is lowered and your posture and attitude might be different. Your skin is different…all of that…so I want to set them up so that they’re stepping in to themselves and that emanates from them and makes for better pictures.

Natasha: So, could someone hire a stylist to be at their photo shoot?

Scarlet: YES! Oh my gosh, I’d love that. I want them to look their best, I want to be there to support them and help them get into the zone. What people forget is that everyone in the magazines and catalogues have a huge team of support. The clothes have been tailored to fit them, there are people pinning on set, and the photographer or stylist is coaching them on how to pose in the most flattering ways – if someone can be there thinking about your best interests, so you can focus on what you need to do and make the most out of your investment of time and energy, you’ll get better pictures. That’s powerful and valuable.

Natasha: How does someone go about finding a stylist?

Scarlet: I’m a part of Well Styled where you can look up stylists by state.

Inviting a stylist into your world is a vulnerable thing, and you should feel like you can trust them even before you meet.

Researching online is a great way to get a sense for: what their core values are, who they work with, what their style is like, their attitude, etc. Most of us have blogs and use social media like Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.

The majority of my clients come from word of mouth referrals which is powerful. In this biz, there are a lot of stereotypes, and some of them are true. Some stylists will “make you up” by dressing you in things that they think will look pretty, but may not feel authentic to you…you may get it home and feel like the clothes don’t work with anything else you own…so I think having a referral to someone who is actually going to make it PERSONAL and really connect with you is the way to go.

Natasha: Absolutely, I find the same thing with my clients, and also when I’m looking for someone to work with – it makes complete sense. So, from a stylist’s perspective, what should someone wear for their photo shoot (photos that will appear online, on their website)?

Scarlet: Saturated solids or “jewel tones” work well. Tonal patterns are ok, but any high contrast pattern is going to be distracting. Likewise, avoid earrings that flutter about or showing too much skin – you want the viewer’s attention to be drawn to your face, not your accessories or bust. Wear silhouettes that frame your face: collared shirts are great at that, v-necks as long as the bottom of the “v” can be captured in the frame, bib necklaces are “in” right now and effectively draw attention up.

Tailored pieces will flatter your figure on camera, whether you’re a man or a woman, because they fit closer to your form. Choose items that skim your curves vs. cling to your curves, draping over your body. This will ensure, no matter what size you are, that you look your slimmest for the lens!

Right now I’m wearing a boxy, long blazer, it hits at mid thigh…it looks great in 3D real life, but catch me off guard in a photo and ugh, it looks awful! Because there isn’t any shape to it so it hides my figure vs. contouring it. Now if you’re having full length shots taken and you really want to wear a boxy, fuller dress because you looooove it, show off your legs and wear some interesting killer heels. There are some tricks you can do to create shape, for instance, put your hands in your pockets or on your hips or give it some shape with a bomber jacket, dramatic long necklace, or the right belt. I’m all for breaking the rules, you just have to be strategic or have a Stylist show you how!

Natasha: Something I’m curious about from your perspective (and I’m going to ask this of a photographer friend too)…should we practice poses before a photo shoot?

Scarlet: I think it’s handy to know some poses that flatter your figure and your personality.

Here’s a tip: if you have wide hips, turn your hips to the side, bend one knee just a little bit, and square off your shoulders – this will make your hips look more narrow. Here’s another tip: think about what makes sense for your business and message. For example, sometimes coaches are told to lean in to the camera to look like they’re “listening” and I think that can be be effective…

Bottom line, though, if a pose doesn’t feel natural to you, don’t do it! You’ll end up hating those photos! A stylist who knows you can help and guide you in ideas for poses that will look natural (and a photographer can too). So poses are something to keep in the back of your mind but don’t feel married to them because the best photos are sometimes when you’re acting naturally, not when you’re trying too hard.

My friend and client Allison Clarke teaches body language and personal appearance, she says that you should stand with your hands always at your sides, relaxed ready to engage. So often when we take pictures we do other things that make us appear uninterested, closed off,  or not confident…like crossing our arms or holding our hands behind our back. Not good!

So how can you be natural yet keep these tricks in the back of your head? Think about how you would be if you were connecting with a client. To get it right it can take a little practice or a little preparation to get in the zone. I usually bring a hip hop song and dance before my photo shoot to relax so that I can ham it up for the camera when it’s game time!

Natasha: What’s the #1 mistake you see women entrepreneurs make with their wardrobe choices?

Scarlet: Most women entrepreneurs who work in their office behind a computer and on the phone are working in loungewear or yoga clothes. I know it’s comfortable ladies, but it can lead to challenges down the road. Invest in some really nice pyjamas that you feel beautiful in (hole-y, stained, old yoga pants be gone!) and one stylish workout ensemble to wear in the mornings as needed (we want you feeling your best all day!). Just before your work day officially starts, jump in the shower then put on a little makeup and clothes that you love – you’ll feel professional and inspired.

Don’t use grubby, ill-fitting, or oversized clothes as a crutch. Holding on to things like that because they are comfy and you spent money on them at some point aren’t good enough reasons. When it IS time to go out in public – be it a coffee meeting, a presentation, or a networking event – you won’t feel prepared. And we all know that rushing out at the last minute before an event or a trip to find something to wear is way too stressful. Consider your wardrobe an extension of yourself and your brand, get it dialed in as soon as possible so you can concentrate on the amazing work that you do.

When you’re an entrepreneur, it’s never a bad thing to be the best dressed or the most put together person in the room. A lot of people feel like they need to blend in and that’s a little bit sad to me. I help people step out from behind their shells to discover their own sense of creativity and spark through their signature look because when you’re wearing an outfit that is totally in line with who you are – your mission, your business, your purpose – it will start conversations. And isn’t your #1 priority when you’re out in public to make genuine connections? I thought so :-)

Natasha: I love that. I would write it in gold sparkles if I could! It’s the same with design – when your online identity (design, fashion, copy, photos) is in line with your authentic self and your mission – it’s magnetic. I love that you practice this with wardrobe styling! Powerful stuff.

Next Q: What can we do to set ourselves apart, and at the same time be true to who we are?

Scarlet: Unique accessories are powerful. A cashmere scarf found while traveling. A handmade leather bag with intricate hardware. A fantastic pair of shoes. Invest in the highest quality that you can afford because statement accessories will take basic wardrobe staples to the next level.

Natasha: This is great. And I always think that if you’re being true to who you are in your choices, then you can’t help but stand apart from everyone else. This reminds me of a quote I saw recently from Ingrid Bergman: “Be yourself. The world worships an original”.

Scarlet: I love that! I heard this one recently, in a documentary about Diana Vreeland. She said: “Style is everything, it helps you get up in the morning, it helps you get down the stairs, it’s a way of life. Without it you’re nobody and I’m not talking about having a lot of clothes.”

I love that, because it’s not about how much your clothes cost or how many pieces you have. It’s about self awareness and confidence in who you are!

Natasha: Okay, what’s the best piece of clothing to invest in?

Scarlet: I work with each of my clients to decide what are the most strategic investments to make. In many cases, a killer pair of heels is on the list. There are more and more ergonomic options coming out that are stylish. Check out my Comfortable Kicks pinterest board for some of my favorite brands and resources.

An amazing blazer is another item that can up-level any outfit, making even a simple t-shirt worn with denim look on point. The conservative corporate blazer is outdated, now you can choose from leather, kick pleats, patterns, textures, details! I have a perforated leather jacket in copper from Rag & Bone – that’s my “power blazer”. Find one that reflects your personality and rock it!

Natasha: I can feel that some people might be intimidated to work with a stylist. There may be an element of “I’m scared a stylist will “dress me up”, or “what can I tell them so they “get me”?” What would you say to that?

Scarlet: With your clients, you have upfront communication to establish a rapport and scope of the project, I think that’s key. I do something similar with my clients, I take them through an intake process, we talk on the phone, email, and start collecting imagery even before our first appointment.

It’s good for your stylist to know the vision you have for yourself so that she/he can be an effective guide, nudging you when necessary to expand your possibilities! Start with the basics of what looks good and why, then build from there.

Styling is a process, it’s not a makeover. When you work with a personal shopper, you’re limited to the inventory in their store. When you work with a stylist online, they are limited by the constraints of a virtual relationship. When you work with a personal stylist in person, you have the benefits of working inside your closet and at your best local retailers with an expert who has your best interests in mind assisting you. This relationship can go so far, saving you money and time while nurturing your personal style with a sense of artistry and adventure. My ultimate goal for each client is that she or he adopt the looks we create and continue to try new things, even when I’m not around, knowing that they have the tools and wardrobe required to look and feel great!

Natasha: since styling involves hair and makeup, let’s touch on that…any tips?

Scarlet: Most people want to look a little more polished or put together – so how can you do that in an easy way? Coiff your hair! When people do their hair, it’s instant polish – whether they straighten it, add a little curl to it, or even just get the frizzies out. Partner with your hair stylist to work with your hair instead of against it. I had a client recently with big gorgeous curls and she was trying to grow it out to straighten it in a sharp edged style. I set her up with a hair stylist who could work with the curls. She ended up going a totally different direction, now her diamond shaped cut frames her face so beautifully, looking natural yet glamorous in an understated way. She saves so much time getting ready in the morning and receives endless compliments! She’s embraced her curls!

For everyday makeup: A natural glow that smooths out your complexion and accentuates your favorite features is flattering. Add an interesting eye or brightly colored lipstick to immediately take your look up a notch.

Makeup for a photo shoot: Most likely you will have to apply more makeup than you normally do – filling in your eyebrows with pencils, doing a bit more to build up the foundation, etc – but don’t worry, it will look natural on camera.

Find a makeup counter or makeup artist who can help you dial in a natural everyday look that is realistic. Say to them “I want to apply my makeup in 10 minutes or less” and they’ll give you one that takes you 15-20. Try applying it on yourself while you’re there so they can give you tips. Ask for the 5 best products to start with. I bring my makeup bag from home so I can show my makeup artist what I already own and she helps me identify what I can still use and then purge what’s outdated or unsanitary. I approach it like I do with clothes – purge the old and then invest in the key essentials that I’ll be able to use in multiple ways.

Natasha: So clients ask me this a lot, in anticipation of their photo shoot. Usually we haven’t started to establish their brand colors yet…and they wonder if they should wear the colors of their brand for their photo shoot? My gut reaction is ‘no’…that they should wear the colors that look best on them and that they feel great in…which can potentially give me more of a challenge but I figure I can work around it, and that if everything’s in line on the styling end and my end as far as drilling down to the authentic person and their brand, then the colors they end up wearing should work together naturally with the design. And 90% of the time this is the case. I’m curious to know what your thoughts are…

Scarlet: Any preparation you can do in advance will help make the shoot a success! Plan 2-4 flattering outfits for the occasion. Consult your personal stylist if you need some assistance finding the perfect looks. Show the outfits to your photographer and designer a week or two before the date. As a team, consider how they compliment the location you’re shooting in, your brand, and the placement on the website. Bring multiple outfits to the shoot, along with a few extra accessories in case you need them. Your team will have the skill and talent to think strategically about how to make the most out of everyone’s time while you look and feel your best. After all, these are pictures you will be using in the foreseeable future to represent your brand (YOU!) and you want to be pleased knowing that you are sending the right message to your audience.

Thank you Scarlet!

Want even more? Scarlet has created this page of tips on how to Rock Your Photoshoot. Enjoy.

3V8A2903Scarlet Chamberlin is a Personal Stylist based in Portland, Oregon. She works with entrepreneurs, performers, authors, artists and healers internationally. You’ve seen her looks at the Oscars, on stage, and on the streets where you live. By imparting the bliss of an interchangeable wardrobe, the value of unique pieces, and how to enjoy the act of getting dressed – her clients stand even taller to look the world in the eye.

Her Boutique Tour of Portland is a personalized adventure going behind the scenes of what’s hot in PDX. When she’s not Sorting, Shopping or Style-ing, you can find her plowing through endless stacks of magazines, designing jewelry, surfing the cold waves of the Oregon Coast, or getting krunk on the dance floor.

You can learn more about this Slow Fashion Ambassador (including what the heck that means) and her Year Of Style at www.scarletchamberlin.com.